GIB Speaks
Notorious G.I.B. Speaks
A local spoof writer providing some light hearted, sometimes, slapstick humour to provide a chuckle, giggle, and or a couple laughs.
Friday Night Fully Loaded
Father: Well son your birthday is coming up. Any thoughts on what you want? Son: Oh I really really want to go to the pro-wrestling event at the Armoury this Friday. Is it ok that it's 2 days before my birthday? Father: Ah... Friday is our anniversary and Tiffany and...
Notorious GIB, a Hopeless Romantic?
A random reader approached yours truly with a very unusual request. It meant breaking character. But... You know what they say, "anything for a fan." Random Reader: Hey G I love your stories and spoofs, but have you ever tried writing something for Valentine's Day?...
A Call Came Through To The 39th Precinct
Officer: "Hello Officer, O'Malley speaking" Caller: "Help! Help! I'm being stalked" Officer: "Relax ma'am, help is on the way. Where is your location? I can't hear you with all those voices in the background." Caller: "I'm aaaaaat!" Click. Officer: "Hello? Hello?...
Dude!! You Seriously Need Help!
Drake Robertson an aspiring psychology student waited patiently for his roomie, Colten Banks to arrive to their room. As Colten entered, they exchanged greetings just prior to settling in. He peered over to Drake's side of the room and saw small tank with a towel over...
Double Header
Hermie The Elf Joins the Mob The Don: "Janice sends the little guy in" Janice: "Yes sir Mr. M The Don: "Luca & Silvano leaves us to talk Hermie: " You sent for me? The Don: " It has come to my attentions that you wants to be a dentists because you don't likes to...
Oh No .. Not Frosty
A security guard in a department store observed an unusual figure picking random items throughout the store. He observed the fellow go in the produce department and opened up a bag of carrots and pulled out one single carrot. He placed it in his basket and carried on...
He went Eggactly How He Eggpected
They all came from afar. Places such as the kitchen fridge, the neighbourhood general store, and even the nearby Saturday Market. Some of them included his great aunt Shelly, his sneaky little cousin Benedict, his on again off again girlfriend Florentine, his high...
The Origins of a Local Spoof Writer
Here it is loyal Soo Now readers. You're going to get the one and only time The Notorious G.I.B. shows his serious side of his craft. To be a local spoof writer, you begin with a snazzy pen to get the readers' attention and can write original fictitous stories that...
10 Things You Don’t Say To Dracula If He Was Your Uber Driver
10 Things You Don't Say To Dracula If He Was Your Uber Driver 1. My don't you just love bright sunny days? 2. Why is there a no garlic sign sticker on the window? 3. Those are really funky contacts you're wearing. 4. I'm a blood donor do I get a discount on my ride....
Road Trip
It's vacation time, so, Jeremy and Darwin wanted to tag team a road trip. They couldn't decide on Chicago, Kansas or Boston. Going overseas to Europe or Asia was just too expensive. "How should we get there?" Darwin asked Jeremy. A train is too slow, a jet is too...
Notorious G.I.B. Speaks Purdy Little Snippets
Greetings and Salutations loyal Soo Now readers, G.I.B here. No spoof stories this time around. Stepping out of character this time to say that I am proud to have been entertaining you with my outrageous stories and over the top advertisements. “The Powers That Be” and myself meet regularly to brainstorm new ideas to help evolve this wonderful publication. A challenge has come forth that we are very exited to share. My stique is to have the readers laughing within a 3 minute time frame. This new challenge has me begging for your indulgence for a ‘smidge’ longer. I’m asking that you all join me in a journey. A journey into my newly developed story line. This time folks, G.I.B. gets to show you that it’s not always about joking and laughter. I will still be in character, but this project brings you into my mind of a dramatic story where emotions run high and the story is all business. Soon you’ll be introduced to Jasmine Purdy. A young engaging esthetician who befriends an older rich socialite who becomes intrigued by her. Upon meeting, Jasmine tells her of her hopes and dreams and the socialite decides to invest part of her wealth to help Jasmine fulfill them. Jasmine’s idea needs a team. It’s up to her to get this group of very different people to get on the same page or risk all the money invested, and it all goes up in smoke. Does the socialite lose her money? Who Stays? Who Gives Up? It’s up to Jasmine to make this work. No more hints loyal readers. Stayed tuned, you’re in for a whopper of a ride. In closing, I want to send a shout out to the person who changed my life and who has also been very influential on the development for this project. I’m forever grateful that I had met you.
Oh.. Come In! Come In Out of the Rain.
As the rain continued to pound down vigorously, Renata waved back to Oleg just before he sped around the corner out of site. She took a deep breath and said to herself "I got this!" She approached the main door of the salon, and noticed that Jasmine was still flipping...
Maybe We’ll Work Together Someday
There was less than two weeks go before "Just A Purdy Face" was set open. It was a very progressive past week as the spa room had been completed, painting was done and the flooring installed. The week to come had the expected arrival and installation of the mirrors,...
We’re Progressing Well
Once the laughter within the room ended with Nelson's hilarious and unexpected lunch suggestion, it was clear he was caught a bit off guard by Dio's Hispanic heritage. All giggles aside, Nelson wanted to apologize to Dio first for the Tacos at lunch before inquiring...
Don’t Make This Awkward
With a deep breath and wiping the sweat off his cheeks, Dio looked at Jasmine and Antoinnette ready to tell his compelling story. Dio: "My partner and fiancé Pablo is the head chef at The Conquistador Resort and he's good friends with the general manager. He has a...
Holla Chickas
After scrolling through Dio's profile and gleaming over his body of work, she turned and shared his pictures with Mindy. She completely agreed with Jasmine's assessment of his talent being truly remarkable. Jasmine: "Mindy... I really need to reach out to this guy. By...
Sip’N’Savour
Jasmine: "Hello Miss St. Amand, it's me Jasmine. Do you have time speak for a moment?" Antoinnette: "Allo Miss Jasmine. Stop being so formal dear. From now on you can just call me Miss A. Please go ahead. What's on your mind?" Jasmine: "Duly noted. I have stumbled...
Jasmine. Hi Mindy… Hi
Just when things weren't busy enough for Jasmine, it was time to get at with the awaiting tasks at hand. She had to make a trip to the Beauty Barn and start shopping for the products needed for her role within the salon. On top that, other tasks include building a...
Let’s Give It A Name
Feeling a bit overwhelmed, Jasmine felt she couldn't let this opportunity slip away. With a smile that could light up a room, she extended out her hand and accepted Antoinnette's gracious offer. Jasmine: "It's a deal!" Antoinnette: "Splendid! We need a plan. Luckily,...
Do We Have A Deal? Oui? Oui?
Recognizing the siblings' need for privacy, Jasmine wandered to the store's front, casually checking her phone to appear distracted. A few minutes past and the murmurs of French dialogue seemed to be getting louder. Jasmine tried her best to ignore their conversation,...
Confidence or Craziness?
Antoinnette: Nelson, for heaven's sake! I've been lamenting to you endlessly about this! It's been a decade since I retired, and five of those years have been spent in that retirement residence. I'm utterly bored out of my mind! Every single day is a monotonous...
About Soo Now
Soo Now got started in July. I was provided with some encouragement to get started by a friend who believed in me and my skills/abilities. Soo Now started as an 8 page leaflet with a handful of businesses advertising with me. Since then, Soo Now has grown to a 28 page booklet. It's been an amazing journey thus far, meeting a plethora of talented and amazing people. I hope to continue this journey for a long time.
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