They all came from afar. Places such as the kitchen fridge, the
neighbourhood general store, and even the nearby Saturday Market.
Some of them included his great aunt Shelly, his sneaky little cousin
Benedict, his on again off again girlfriend Florentine, his high school
gym teacher Coach Shellhorn, and even the class bully Mean Billy
Crackman. The ceremony was about to begin with the Reverend
Egglesworth presiding.
“We are gathered here today to say goodbye to our dear brother 
Sheldon. We can all rest easy that he wasn’t beaten or poached, but
whisked away to a better plate. He was able to avoid the pitfalls of
breakfast and lunch, but surrendered himself to dinner time. His final
words were,” It’s not weird/ you’re weird for thinking it’s weird.” As we
depart in our “separate ways”, would anyone like to say a few kind
words to our dearly departed Sheldon. A hungry gentleman holding
up a knife and fork kindly said in an assuring voice, “I’m sorry for your
loss, very touching, but can I eat my dinner now.”
– G.i.B Spoken
Digital Art – Darren Robertson
