So. You are all signed up for online dating, right? You’ve done the following:
• Downloaded a dating app
• Created a funny/enticing profile with a catchy headline
• Uploaded at least one decent (recent) selfie (not a pic from the 80s please!)
• Set some filters for your matches (age range, location, employment status, smoker status, relationship goals etc.)
Like you — in 2019, I was new to online dating. I didn’t care if my match was 25 or 60. It didn’t matter if he had kids, was divorced or had a degree. However, a few things were important to me. I wanted to meet someone that was “local”, “employed”, a “non-smoker” and my height or taller (5’6+)- so those filters were selected.
NOTE: We are all seeking something unique…DO NOT be ashamed to have preferences. Not everyone is a potential partner. I’m sure some guys saw my profile and preferred brunettes or wanted to meet someone with a higher income —you can’t take it to heart. It sounds funny to say this, but it’s business — it’s not personal. If they are serious about finding love, they will have preferences. If they don’t? Run. My first week online, I met many men — Mike was one of them. He was American (but only from a couple of hours away), handsome, intelligent and funny. We had great conversation and an immediate connection. He was a divorced father of 3, employed, and taller than me — however, he was also a smoker. But – was Mike being a smoker a `dealbreaker’? It might seem like a small thing but meeting him made me contemplate everything I thought I was seeking. Was I being narrowminded? Was I excluding good men in my search by setting too many filters and having unrealistic expectations? Today’s advice? Go easy on excluding matches by choosing too many filters. Be open to something different and new. Sometimes less — is more.
