Recently, we were out for dinner and Mike made a casual comment about a woman that walked by. She was young – and very pretty. Her outfit was “minimal” (at best) and she oozed confidence and sensuality. She caught Mike’s eye…and I don’t blame him.
I felt an instant pang of jealousy, my ego was immediately bruised and my feelings hurt.
I don’t think it’s because I lack confidence or am insecure. I think past trauma plays a big role. I’ve been cheated on – so for me, it was a red flag. But is that fair to Mike? He has never given me reason to distrust him with other women. Yet my blood was boiling.
I can appreciate a handsome man. I can’t help but notice when it slaps me in the face as he walks past! However, I make a conscious effort NOT to stare, NOT to swivel my neck so fast that it nearly breaks. In my mind, it’s about being respectful to Mike.
I was raised by a man that showered my mom with affection. From daily “I love you’s” to flowers for no reason. I have heard him tell her she is the most beautiful woman alive for 48 years…and she never gets tired of hearing it. I’m not saying that he has never looked at another woman – that would be ridiculous. But “noticing” beauty and “coveting” beauty are very different. Looking is one thing…ogling is unnecessary. “Wandering eyes lead to a wandering mind which leads to a wandering heart”.
My advice today: Communication is key – if a person isn’t aware of the problem, they definitely can’t fix it.
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