One of the perils of online dating is what I like to call ‘the window-shopping mindset’. Sometimes it feels like you are wandering aimlessly around Ikea looking at foreign objects that are all VERY different – but essentially the same. You stop actively reading bios and judge matches solely on appearance. You become lazy. You immediately swipe right or left based only on initial attraction.
I quickly noticed that I would swipe left 100 times before swiping right once. The whole process (101 swipes!) would take only a few minutes. How do you judge someone SO quickly based on a single photo? It occurred to me that I was being unfair and decided to dive deeper BEFORE swiping.
When I first saw Mike’s profile in 2019, I recall my initial reaction…he was handsome. No smile – but handsome nonetheless. Once I clicked into his bio, I noted a few things that would normally make me cringe; he was shorter than I preferred, he was a smoker AND he was American. Normally even just ONE of these things would make me run for the hills. To this day, I’m not sure what made me message him back – but I did.
We spent this last weekend together in Michigan at my son’s hockey showcase, saw his mom and kids and drove many miles together singing 80’s tunes. We had a chance to connect and enjoy each other’s company. He still smokes every few hours, he’s not getting any taller and Canada won’t let him in…but he is my person. My advice today is to look deeper – people are often so much more amazing than they initially appear.
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